“Here’s a gift, a free gift, with no strings attached.”
My high school retreat refrain hung in my head from decades ago. It was an exercise in naming one another’s gifts and talents. It may have faded quickly from most classmates’ memory, but it created a lasting impact in my own — perhaps foreshadowing the joy of my life as the psychologist I didn’t know then that I would someday become.
The power of naming others’ strengths aloud spoke to me on a much deeper level of connection. I now enjoy seeing that connection in action every day with my colleagues in medicine. They speak in the language of compassion and possibility, with an awareness of the healing potential, not only in medicine and education but in the words of hope and truth that have tangible potential for good, in both physical and psychological arenas of healing.
As a healthcare provider, I am well aware of the vast literature on the tangible effects of gratitude and positive psychology — the many ways speaking to strengths can impact us physically and psychologically across everything from autoimmune health to the brain-gut connection. So, no wonder it was such a potent moment early on to recognize the visceral impact it was to speak positive words over one another.
Now this principle is so much a part of my life that I have even used this literal “gift, a free gift” practice at the holidays, where everyone is given a set of ornaments or smooth river stones with the invitation to name a positive attribute for everyone at the table.
Each guest is then “given their gifts” in turn, naming the positive attributes that were seen in them, taking home a bag of kudos, and providing me the best moment of the holidays — to see the magic of connection and spark of recognition when we see the good in one another.
As healthcare providers, I believe we practice a form of this every day: creating safe space where our words, expressions and intentions weave together in our patients’ lives to help inform, empower and find a way forward.
Caregiving is a sacred art, one that merits time to reflect on the intensive potential for impacting others, when we ourselves may be impacted in turn. I invite you to consider naming your own impact now with words of strength among your many gifts, which are ready and waiting to be called out as your own.
